Dear Dr. Maria,

I have been trying to recover from an eating disorder, but I keep getting triggered by negative body image. What should I do?

- Ellen

Dear Ellen,

Hi! People with eating disorders are definitely in a bind, because they want to be led to good eating by a good body image. Unfortunately, eating regularly comes first, and then body image comes second. It would be easier if good body image could lead you to recovery, but when you eat restrictively or erratically, your body is bloated, shut down and unstable. Your weight can fluctuate with high and low swings, and your body does not process food easily. This state LEADS to negative body image. When you are constipated, gaseous, and eat irregularly, of course you aren’t going to have a good body image day.

So, think of it this way: if you can tolerate not having the best body image, and still eat regularly and nutritiously, over time you will have a body that can process food quickly and a stable body. This is actually one factor that can lead you to good body image.

Wishing you Peace and Love,

Dr. Maria

Dear Dr. Maria,

I have tried to have a good body image, but it just doesn’t work. I just feel so fat and hate my body. I feel really frustrated.

- Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

Hi! I am sorry that you are so frustrated. Most people who try to obtain a better body image do get very angry and stressed about how difficult it is. I would like to ask you two questions: “How long have you tried to improve your body image? And what have you done to try to improve it?” Most people get frustrated, but they did not try very hard or very long to improve their body images. In fact, the only strategy people generally use to improve body image is to lose weight. Weight loss may have some impact on body image, but in general, body image is a much more complicated factor than the simple way we think it works. When people lose weight, they often continue to have a negative body image. Some people find all of the weight they lose just leads them to want to lose MORE weight because they still do not feel comfortable in their bodies.

That is when you want to change a few things: your perfectionism, your patience with yourself and your strategy. If you are a perfectionist, you will just keep trying to lose weight until you look “perfect,” and since no one can ever look perfect, it’s a losing plan. If you are not patient with yourself, you will find you give up easily, instead of taking the time each day to work on it. That’s why I am doing “365 days to better body image,” acknowledging that it does not take a day! But if you work on it every day for a few months, I am sure that you can make excellent progress on it! Finally, if your only strategy to improve body image is to lose weight, you may not succeed in obtaining your goal. Your goal needs to change from “lose weight” to “improve body image.” True improvement of body image comes more with accepting yourself, being less harsh with yourself, reducing the impact that media images have on you, eating in a stable, healthy way and addressing the FEELINGS and self-esteem issues that may be lurking underneath a negative body image. My hope is that this resource, (365 Days of Shut Up!) can truly help you in this difficult, but valuable, worthwhile process.

So, don’t give up hope! Make your commitment to obtain a positive body image and in time you will accomplish this!

Wishing you Peace and Love,

Dr. Maria